Labor? I Hardly Know Her 🤗

On work

After I was laid off a little less than a year ago, I felt like I didn’t have time to write because all of my energy was focused on getting a full-time job. It felt irresponsible to waste it on anything else, save breathing, shitting, and feeding the cat.

Then I became gainfully employed. A second to breathe? Never heard of her. I found myself romanticizing the three and a half months I spent with hours sprawled before me, even though I was anxious all the time not knowing what was next. Then when I started my job I was anxious all the time but had affordable healthcare. 

I’ve been thinking a lot about labor and my relationship to it– something I’ve been known to do (lol), but I’m examining it a touch more closely as someone who recently entered a new decade of life. How does labor integrate with what I want– what I truly want, for my remaining years? My financial goals? The little hobbies I want to explore more deeply and intentionally? My Big Dream of being an extremely present, patient, and available parent?

A job is transactional. I, historically, have shown up to work and performed labor simply because I need money and insurance to survive. Those ribbed long sleeved tees from Buck Mason that I really like are like $90! To overtly discuss the true nature of it all feels uncouth and like I’ll end up on some collective marketing professional blacklist. I’d feel more comfortable writing “cunt cunt cunt.”Wow. Extremely simple. I wish I could get paid to do that all day. 

My favorite jobs have been the ones where I’m surrounded by smart, kind, creative people (fairly common at most of the organizations that have ever written me a check) who collectively understand that we do not exist simply to work (much less common 🙂). The consistent organizational and societal pressure to place our jobs at the center of our existence has, frankly, been the catalyst to some of the worst periods of my adult life. It makes me sad, it makes me anxious, it makes my tummy hurt consistently, and worst and most unacceptably of all, it makes me ugly. (Grey hairs AND acne? Electric chair). We are all too hot and too cool for this amount of dread. Work is truly not that serious. Show up, work hard, and be kind. Then fuckity leave and go live your life.

This is a really long-winded way of saying I quit my job. The last ten years in corporate America have built up what feels like a lethal amount of plaque in the aorta of my spirit (dramaaaa). I’m freelancing now. I don’t know what this will be like. I might go back to work full-time again if something feels right! Idk. Thanks for being here, still ♥️. In keeping with the original purpose of this newsletter, here are some material goods (and one non-material good) that have gotten me through the last few months of burnout and feeling like a shell of myself:

Astrologeins Leo Oil

My favorite face oil in the whole world. When I’m too depleted to do my full skincare routine, a hot washcloth followed by some of this does so much for me. There are only three ingredients: meadowfoam seed oil, rosehip seed oil, and blue tansy. Bury me with this so I can glow after capitalism finally k*lls me.

Buck Mason Surplus Rib Long Sleeve Crew

Let me be clear. This is outrageously priced. However, I am in a place mentally where I do not care; it fits me really well, the quality is great, and all of the colors are cute. I struggle dressing in the cold weather and this makes it easy– and I know it will last. Not to be like…overconsumption core or whatever but I think you should get one.

Oddli Boxers

I was influenced by an Instagram ad in the middle of the summer and they have become my entire personality. I change into them at around 7pm. Also, if you are on a weekend trip with friends or a secret lover, these are fun to make breakfast in. Idk. It’s just a vibe. I love the colors and the fabric is really breathable. Be cute! Do crime!

Nelly’s Chocolate Peanut Butter Bars

What I imagine Gwyneth Paltrow’s take on a Reese’s Fast Break would be. Extremely satisfying, not too sweet, has honestly more protein than you would expect (tho this is NOT a protein bar, it’s just a fun treat), and is texturally elite. The chocolate coating is really good, too. I ate one last night while watching D.E.B.S. These are refrigerated so scour Whole Foods accordingly

The Song “She’s So Mean“ by Matchbox Twenty

This song is criminally underrated and I implore you to listen to it now. It’s a shot of serotonin to the side boob. I love you Rob Thomas! Bye.

Ehhh-th-th-th-th-th-th-that’s all folks.

Cap