Take The Fazjha Awayyyy
(A little Amsterdam guide)
The rumors are true. I went to Europe and I wasn’t that annoying about it. More specifically, I escaped all of the boo hiss tomato tomato going on here and went to Amsterdam, where the women actually seemed happy (hold for laughter). This was my first time visiting (I can see the K*st**l W*ll kids clutching their pearls thin gold chains rn), but I’m really happy with how our itinerary shook out. We made *some* solid plans before arriving (a couple of dinner reservations, must-visit cafés, an all-you-can-eat ******* cruise which you will have to scroll to learn more about etc.), but we also meandered and discovered some gems that way.
I put together this list of can’t-miss spots from the trip in case you find yourself on your way to the Netherlands with no idea where to get a good cappuccino, c*nty bread service, or glass of interesting wine. Plus…my crown jewel, the Pannenkoekenboot.
My Hotel Rec
We stayed at The Dylan and loved every second of it. The building was actually the first theatre in Amsterdam (cute!), then it burned down (sad!), then they refurbished it and it became a place where people down on their luck could get a warm bed and a hot meal (cool!) and now it’s a luxury boutique hotel with really delicious muffins (thank god!). The highlights:
The neighborhood. It’s in the De 9 Straatjes (Nine Little Streets) area that’s full of great shops and restaurants. It’s also within walking distance to other cool neighborhoods like De Pijp and De Jordaan. We spent the majority of our time in those three places!
Every square inch of the place was both cozy and gorgeous. We’ll call it gorzy.
Nobody was ever at the gym (which was small, but had everything we needed).
The breakfast absolutely fucked. It was also free.99 with Amex perks, which didn’t hurt. Every morning I would get two fried eggs, sourdough toast, crispy bacon, fingerling potatoes, some sautéed mushrooms, and an extremely sexy pan-fried tomato. Our last day I balled out and ordered some a-la-carte French toast and it was the best I’ve ever paid money for. It made a crunchy sound when you ran a knife over it but was really custardy on the inside.
The staff was amazing. We made friends with everyone. Shout out to Marco, who told us we were very cool for going to see a soccer game our first full day there.
Every single night, the staff surprises you with a different treat in your room. It was never anything huge, but it was such a fun little touch. We got everything from giant stroopwafels to champagne gummy bears to wood-carved keychains.
For the second part of our trip, we stayed at the Soho House. It was fine, the room was gorgeous and we had a great view of the canals. But literally no other redeeming qualities.
Restaurants
Stack’s Diner: Went here for breakfast after we landed. Huge, drippy breakfast sandwiches. Pancakes with crispy edges. Lots of cool, young servers and a kind of dark, mid-century modern interior. There was a tray of cinnamon buns that I’m still kicking myself over. Why didn’t I get one? Idiot! I’m sad we never made it back for dinner.
Mesiba: Our first dinner of the trip! It’s in the Jordaan district and was about a 15 minute walk from our hotel. A lot of Eastern Mediterranean influence. Killer bread. Tahini chicken skewers that I’m still thinking about. And kind of randomly, the best fries of our entire trip. There was also giant warm slab of babka with ice cream to cap it all off.
De Kas: If De Kas has no fans I am dead. The restaurant is in an old greenhouse, part of which is still functional. They grow a lot of produce right there in-house, and also have a farm 20 minutes up the road. These two places are where 90% of their food comes from– and you can TASTE IT. When it comes to my meals, I really don’t like anything fancy. I was some juicy chicken in a pita, or a really good burger. When someone mentions culinary “foam” I recoil and gag. I was afraid De Kas would feel pretentious, but every bite of our six course tasting menu (plus many treats and two wine pairings) made sense. Why was I licking the bowl that our cabbage gazpacho came in? Why did I cry eating the coconut butter shards that adorned our coffee ice cream? Why did I hoard the parsley cream from the bread service for the entire meal, like Gollum and his precious? You must venture to De Kas to find out.
Buffet Van Odette: This was recommended to us by a very cool guy we met in a clothing store and it did not disappoint. A VERY chic little restaurant that’s filled with locals, understated white marble, & good wine. We ordered the mushroom ravioli, fennel sausage with lemon beans, potatoes with tarragon mayonnaise, crunchy herb salad, and hazelnut chocolates. They were all inhaled.
Ouef: Very chill and yummy brunch or lunch spot. It’s in De Pijp, where we did a ton of walking, and we were happy to wander inside when we needed a break. The burger was great, and the hummus toast with cauliflower and dates was also really good bite. I had like six cups of ginger tea while I was there too – literally every place there makes ginger tea by just slicing up a knob of fresh ginger and covering it with boiling water? I got addicted.
Bottle Shop: Another A+, 100%, cannot miss spot if you like wine. Minimalist with only a few tables inside. We asked our server (who I think was the only person working there at the time) to surprise us with whatever he was able to pour glasses of. Whew~ they all hit!! We ended up walking out of there with two bottles to take home. They also have a cutie little menu, but we only went there for drinks.
Cafés
Rum Baba: What a funky little place! Everyone who came in while I was there was exceptionally cooler than me. Lots of young, stylish parents with babies who were also cooler than me. It’s kind of giving 90s preschool inside (I don’t know how else to describe it) except there are really expensive espresso machines everywhere. I had a really good cappuccino here, and we came back to buy beans!
SAINT-JEAN: A café but also bakery but also deli but also a homewares store? It exists! I had a pistachio cruffin there that was very special, and a chocolate hazelnut croissant that was perfectly crunchy. I also bought a tub of the pistachio butter to take home. Very chic inside!
Good Beans: Tiny little place that had this charming small tray of pastries out near the register - idk why it just absolutely tickled me. I got a great flat white here! Cute little canisters of beans for purchase on the shelves, along with some other random-ish bits and bobs.
Good News: If someone puts a smiley face on something I’m unfortunately 150x more likely to be interested. I went to two Good News locations while I was in Amsterdam– their menu was so good that I needed multiple hits. The first time I got a vanilla hazelnut latte (maybe best coffee sip of the trip) and an oat cookie, but left wanting to try one of their many matcha lattes– which I did a few days later. I also bought back a box of tea from here, and got my mom a little coffee tumbler as well!
Miscellaneous
Stroopwafel: One stroop per day MINIMUM while you are in AMS. Or they will arrest you (for being lame). The best stroopwafel I had while we were there was from a truck on the side of the road in Utrecht, where we went for a day trip (we got tickets to a soccer game, walked around a flower market, and I drank like 14 cups of fresh mint tea). Amsterdam favorites that will come up on Google like Hans Egstorf are fine, but there’s nothing like a guy feeding people out of the back of his car. Just find one of those.
Shopping: Penny Lane Vintage had a ton of great stuff– and it was a big space! Gorgeous jackets, sweaters, and trousers from all different labels. Literally an entire rack of Burberry coats from the 80s and 90s all under £350. Cowboys to Catwalk was where we met our favorite local of the trip (shout out to resident cool guy and owner, Burt). They have men’s and women’s stores in different parts of town, we went to both. Very lovingly curated designer stuff, I spent too much money on a t-shirt there. Skins is the place to go if you love collecting fragrances. Best selection I’ve ever seen. Lastly, De Kaaskkamer is where you need to go if you want to pick up some cheese. It comes vacuum sealed for TSA if you want to bring it home, but you can also order sandwiches there.
Fries: We went to Fabel Friet because it was right around the corner from our hotel. The long line moved fast, and for a place that’s pretty touristy, the fries were good. I got them with truffle mayo and a big pile of parm. If you’re close by, go ahead and try it! But I feel like you could find something better from an old guy on the side of the road.
Museums: We went to the Rijksmuseum. It was a museum! It was nice! I got sleepy! They have Vermeer’s The Milkmaid, though, and I do love that crazy girl. Make sure to book your tickets in advance.
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For the Bit: While we tried to be Very Cool this trip, I feel strongly that you have to do at least one almost-weird-but-definitely-base thing. For me, that was, without question, De Pannenkoekenboot. It means ”The Pancake Boat” and it’s exactly what it sounds like. You cruise around the IJ for 75 minutes (no more, no less, let me tell you) for an all-you-can-eat Dutch pancake experience. They also have a stacked topping bar. I did not pay attention to the scenery but they did have a giant jar of Nutella with a hand pump that I became really well acquainted with. I personally couldn’t recommend this enough.
That’s all! I loved the city! While I wouldn’t call the culture collectivist, there was much more of a focus on “we” and “us” (in small ways) than there is here in the US. People were noticeably kind to one another, they picked up after themselves and had respect for shared spaces, and I don’t think I heard one person talking loudly on a cell phone the entire time. It seemed really livable. Idk, if your credit card points are burning a hole in your pocket, go there and see for yourself.
💌
Nostalgia Hitting hard rn from the study abroad days, always wished I spent more time in Amsterdam - now I know I have to go back, thank you- Caprii!